Q: Hi,
My 10 year old daughter has serious wiping issues. She doesn’t “wipe properly.” I have been trying to correct this problem for years. I have refused to buy new underwear, I have bought those flushable wet wipes. I have even, as much as I hate to admit this, tried to shame her into caring about it by making jokes. Not my most proud parent moments. What is your advice?
Signed,
Ashamed in Arizona
A: Dear Ashamed in Arizona,
I have to admit, I have NO idea how to answer your question! To be honest, I got a little grossed out and almost deleted it, but then I asked myself the million dollar question...W.W.D.A.D? (What would Dear Abby do?)
And I've decided Dear Abby would not shudder at a poo question. She would tackle your question, head-on, and so will I. So here we go, bottoms up...pun intended!
As I've said before, I'm no expert, especially when it comes to skidmarks (thank goodness.) Nevertheless, I think this situation calls for a multi-step approach.
First, stick with the flushable wipes. You can't go wrong.
Step two, I think a serious, loving mother/daughter heart to heart is in order on the topic of hygeine and taking pride in ourselves.
Step three, maybe offer a little incentive. This is obviously something she has a hard time with, and when kids struggle with a behavior, sometimes it's helpful to offer a reward for their efforts. She's probably just anxious to get back to her 10 year old activities (cause let's be honest, we can all agree that playing outside is more fun than wiping) so when she takes the time to do it correctly and you see a positive result in the laundry bucket, give her a little "way to go" prize.
Whatever you do, don't let your wiping woes "bum" you out. Kids are all so different, and while this is an issue that you do want to get cleared up sooner rather than later, it's not the most terrible thing in the world. In a few years, this will all be wiped clean from your memory, and you'll be writing in with much more difficult teenager questions, longing for the good old days, when poo problems were all you had to worry about.
Sincerely, Kimmie
And I've decided Dear Abby would not shudder at a poo question. She would tackle your question, head-on, and so will I. So here we go, bottoms up...pun intended!
As I've said before, I'm no expert, especially when it comes to skidmarks (thank goodness.) Nevertheless, I think this situation calls for a multi-step approach.
First, stick with the flushable wipes. You can't go wrong.
Step two, I think a serious, loving mother/daughter heart to heart is in order on the topic of hygeine and taking pride in ourselves.
Step three, maybe offer a little incentive. This is obviously something she has a hard time with, and when kids struggle with a behavior, sometimes it's helpful to offer a reward for their efforts. She's probably just anxious to get back to her 10 year old activities (cause let's be honest, we can all agree that playing outside is more fun than wiping) so when she takes the time to do it correctly and you see a positive result in the laundry bucket, give her a little "way to go" prize.
Whatever you do, don't let your wiping woes "bum" you out. Kids are all so different, and while this is an issue that you do want to get cleared up sooner rather than later, it's not the most terrible thing in the world. In a few years, this will all be wiped clean from your memory, and you'll be writing in with much more difficult teenager questions, longing for the good old days, when poo problems were all you had to worry about.
Sincerely, Kimmie
Kimmie, you are right! However, it may be that she just can't wipe her bum because of 2 things: her arms can't reach or she's so grossed out about it that it's just an icky subject all together. Hygiene is important and needs to be privately discussed, just with a matter-of-fact-ness and open communication.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I find out that mine haven't wiped well enough, no matter what they are doing, I make them shower and make them clean themselves off! It could happen 3 times in a day, I don't care! They need to understand that it is not okay! I make it as uncomfortable as possible if I need to so they do their best next time NOT to need a shower! This is how I got a few of them to finally be potty trained! They just needed that extra push. Lol your 10 year old will very quickly learn to wipe better after being forced to take 4 showers instead of being able to play with friends.... Just tell her, "Hygiene first!" lol
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