Caller With a Conscience!

Dear Kimmie,
 I work at a political call center that works with conservative political action committees. We call registered voters across the country and try to get them to donate $10-250 to the campaign. The owners of the call center give us no campaign specifics or where the money goes, so we just give a very vague overview of what the money does to the potential donor.
However, a quick google search will show what a legal scam these campaigns are. When we tell donors their money will help elect more conservative candidates in November, and then finance reports show that the campaign has donated only $5,000 to a total of 2 candidates in the last election cycle. Should a God fearing employee feel comfortable working in this environment?
What should I do?
Signed, Caller with a conscience

Dear Caller with a Conscience,
Quit right now! I know that sounds rash, but I'm a shoot from the hip kinda girl.
 However, if you're more of a two weeks notice kinda guy/gal, then I would have a serious talk with your employer, asking him directly what percentage actually goes where you're telling people it goes. If he can't or won't give you an explanation, you should tell him that you don't feel comfortable misleading people and tender your resignation immediately.
 I will share my telemarketing experience with you to give you courage... I too worked at a call center once. (I've had like 20+ jobs.) My friend and I worked there together, and we felt like the services we were offering over the phone were not always worth the money we were charging, and I felt like we were being told how to talk elderly people into paying for things they didn't need. After 4 days of this, my friend and I quit, but not before I made a very dramatic "how do you people sleep at night" exit speech. I don't think it was very effective. The only people that followed us out of the building were the ones on their way to their smoke break, but I felt a lot better because I was no longer part of a company that I felt was taking advantage of people.
 I realize it's important to make a living, but it's far more important to make an honest living. You can find a way to justify anything if you try hard enough, but selling your soul is one telemarketing gig you should steer clear of! So, quit, asap! Problem solved!
Sincerely, Kimmie

A Hairy Husband!

Q: Dear Kimmie-

I believe that most germs we get into our body that make us sick come in through the nose.  Therefore I let my nose hair grow out.  I admit they are bit too long (one actually extends to my upper lip) but I need the extra hair to filter out the germs when I breathe.  My wife thinks it's ridiculous and disgusting and wants me to trim them.  I say no, I need my health.  Who is right? 

Thank you,

Travis and Kendra

A: Dear Travis and Kendra,

Ew, Kendra is right! You may be perfectly correct about nose hairs filtering out germs. However, one could also argue that armpit hairs trap bacteria, sebum and pheromones, and I don't think you'd be pleased as pie if your wife decided to go all Rapunzel with her pits! 

The solution is simple. 

Trim your nose hairs, and grow a mustache instead! It would act as a hairy hurdle that most germs would not be able to penetrate. Then, you get to filter out the majority of the bacteria, and your wife no longer has to find you're health habits ridiculous and disgusting! 

Problem Solved!

Sincerely, Kimmie

An "Eggs"istential Question!

Dear Kimmie,

I love hard boiled eggs and like to eat them when they are done boiling. Peeling can be tricky as the egg sticks to the shell and I end up with a partially destroyed cratered piece of chicken embryo. Am I rushing the process? Does temperature play a factor? Does cracking the egg all over help? Seriously Kimmie, I'm all boiled up over this.

 -Rob F.




Dear Rob F.,

First of all, I apologize in advance for adding "egg" to the beginning of so many words in my response, but it couldn't be helped!
Now, as for your hard boiled blunders, I too can relate. I am a fan of egg salad sandwiches, but since I do not "eggcel" at hard boiling eggs, I rarely make them. So, I set out to find an answer, for both of our sakes.
I first started by trying, once again, to hard boil some eggs of my own. However, I forgot about them boiling on the stove for well over an hour, and by the time my husband came downstairs and found them stinking up the kitchen, in a pot with almost all of the water evaporated out, he threw them away before I could attempt the peeling process.
So, since I am no "eggspert" at hard boiling eggs, I consulted my two most "eggcellent" sources of knowledge...my mother-in-law and the internet.
The internet says to add salt to your water because it raises the pH of the water, which strengthens the egg's membrane. (I don't know what pH is, so I will just take their word for it.) The internet also has lots of techniques using safety pins and spoons and vinegar, but that sounds a little "eggstreme"
to me!
My mother-in-law said that the best way to crack a hard boiled egg is to let it cool (dunk it in ice if your impatient) and make a big, gentle crack on the top and bottom of the egg. Then, carefully rub the shell away with the bottom of your thumb, no poking or digging. Her way sounds better.
Problem solved!

Sincerely, Kimmie