Need help making a decision? E-mail me at sincerelykimmie@hotmail.com for a free opinion because sometimes, strangers give the best advice.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Graduation Gift Giving!

Dear Kimmie,
I have a niece, three cousins and three second cousins all graduating from High School this week. Last Saturday night I attended a party to celebrate 2 of their graduations. I bought and brought a gift for each of them. But since then I have been wondering if I need to send gifts to the other ones? If I remember correctly, I didn't get any money or gifts when I graduated High School (granted that was 15 years ago.) I did however, receive gifts/money when I graduated from college. I know graduating High School is exciting, but isn't that sort of expected? "Wa-hoo you survived 12 years of public schooling. Just like everyone else." Please tell me if times have changed and people are now expected to give gifts/money to High School graduates. And if that is the case, how far down the family tree should I give gifts?
Sincerely, Perplexed about protocol
Dear Perplexed about Protocol,
Call me old fashioned, but the only thing I got when I graduated from highschool was a job, at a Dry Cleaners.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE giving gifts! I am always buying presents for people and getting my kids junk from the Dollar Store to reward them for every little thing they do. However, it should not be expected, and kids should not feel entitled to it. I can recognize that graduating from high school is an exciting time, but people should not feel pressured to write checks everytime anyone reaches a milestone.
I've seen that show "Silver Spoons." I know what happens when you just start handing kids money. You end up with a bunch of Ricky Schroders, riding around on giant choo-choo trains inside their house, expecting to get everything handed to them.
The reward for graduating from high school should be your education, not a pile of checks from distant relatives and friends of your parents, whose tax dollars have already paid for your schooling.
Now, if you are close with the graduate and you want to give them a gift/money, then by all means, do it! It's fun giving gifts to celebrate with the people you care about, but do not feel obligated to respond to every graduation announcement you get in the mail with a gift of money, and especially not to second cousins. You probably know your mailman better than your second cousin, and you don't buy him a gift card to congratulate him everytime they raise the price of stamps.
If you don't want to give a gift or you can't afford to, you can still recognize the graduates accomplishment by giving them a letter, expressing specific, positive qualities you've noticed in them as an individual and how proud you are of them and the person they've become. That should mean more to them than a check. It may not, but it should. Absolutely everyone deserves to feel special and be congratulated, but celebrating someone's achievements doesn't always have to cost money. In the wise words of Art Buchwald (and Pinterest) "The best things in life are not things." And that's a more important lesson than anything they'll learn in school!
Sincerely, Kimmie

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I Am Not A Doormat!

Dear Kimmie,
I recently invited a friend to my daughter’s choir concert.  They responded they would love to go, but then asked if I could get another ticket for a friend.  I responded by being too accommodating and saying something like, “Well I can’t get another seat together, but I can buy another ticket and I can just sit in that seat.”  I really thought they would say, “No, I don’t want you sitting by yourself.” But they didn’t.  They said, “Ok great, we will see you there!”  So now I am mad at myself for not just saying I could not get a ticket.  I bought good seats and I don’t want to sit by myself at my daughter’s concert, nor do I want to sit in the not as good seats.  However this is one of my late husband’s best friends so I am not as comfortable saying what I really feel as I would if it was someone else.  What should I do? 
Signed,
Too Accommodating

Dear Too Accommodating,
This is a real problem! Take it from me. Once, my nieghbor (that I'd just met only hours before) told me she was tired of her husband and she wanted to leave him. The next thing I know she and her chihuahua are sleeping on my couch, waching Cosby Show re-runs all day long and asking my husband and I to hide her spouse's belongings in our car. Trust me, being too accommodating is a slippery slope that usually ends with you getting walked all over.
I must say, you got yourself into this pickle though, which we people pleasers often do, by offering up your own ticket. Yes, your friend should have never taken you up on the offer, but in the future, you should never present an option that you wouldn't want to go along with.
What I've learned is that most people don't want to put you out, and they don't even think twice about it if you say "no." They don't expect you to always bend over backwards for them, and they won't think any less of you if you don't make their every wish your command.
As for your current predicament, I'm sure your friend would understand if you explained to him how you're feeling, but I'm guessing you're not likely to do that.
So, all you can do now is hope that your new, less than ideal seat has a handsome, single man sitting in the one next to it. Or you could just give your friend ex-lax cookies as a pre-concert treat, and hope that he'll have to excuse himself so you can get your ticket back. I'd stick with optoin A though. Sincerely, Kimmie

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Wiping Woes!

Q: Hi,
My 10 year old daughter has serious wiping issues.  She doesn’t “wipe properly.”  I have been trying to correct this problem for years. I have refused to buy new underwear, I have bought those flushable wet wipes.  I have even, as much as I hate to admit this, tried to shame her into caring about it by making jokes.  Not my most proud parent moments.  What is your advice?
Signed,
Ashamed in Arizona


A: Dear Ashamed in Arizona,
I have to admit, I have NO idea how to answer your question! To be honest, I got a little grossed out and almost deleted it, but then I asked myself the million dollar question...W.W.D.A.D? (What would Dear Abby do?)
And I've decided Dear Abby would not shudder at a poo question. She would tackle your question, head-on, and so will I. So here we go, bottoms up...pun intended!
As I've said before, I'm no expert, especially when it comes to skidmarks (thank goodness.) Nevertheless, I think this situation calls for a multi-step approach.
First, stick with the flushable wipes. You can't go wrong.
Step two, I think a serious, loving mother/daughter heart to heart is in order on the topic of hygeine and taking pride in ourselves.
Step three, maybe offer a little incentive. This is obviously something she has a hard time with, and when kids struggle with a behavior, sometimes it's helpful to offer a reward for their efforts. She's probably just anxious to get back to her 10 year old activities (cause let's be honest, we can all agree that playing outside is more fun than wiping) so when she takes the time to do it correctly and you see a positive result in the laundry bucket, give her a little "way to go" prize.
Whatever you do, don't let your wiping woes "bum" you out. Kids are all so different, and while this is an issue that you do want to get cleared up sooner rather than later, it's not the most terrible thing in the world. In a few years, this will all be wiped clean from your memory, and you'll be writing in with much more difficult teenager questions, longing for the good old days, when poo problems were all you had to worry about.

Sincerely, Kimmie

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Target or Walmart?

Q: Dear Kimmie,
 Please settle our debate. Target or Walmart?
-Name Withheld
A: Dear Conflicted Consumer,
I am the perfect person to settle this debate! I don't claim to be an expert in too many areas, but I kind of feel like Target and Walmart are my specialty.
I went to Target twice last week. I love their clean floors, their bright flourescent lighting and their popcorn/soda combo. And for some reason, the whole store reminds me of Christmas. I love Target so much that if I could do things over again, I just might have had my bridesmaids wear red polos and khakis at my wedding. Target is definitely my number one choice!
However, I wasn't always a Target girl. There was a time in my life when I was a true blue Walmart shopper. I bought everything there! I could overlook the long lines and the diapers in the parking lot because almost everything in the store was only 88 cents.
And I thank my lucky stars that I was shopping at Walmart the day my 4 year old threw up all over the cart and everything inside of it because they were so understanding, and they didn't even make me pay for the barfy groceries. (They also probably didn't get around to mopping up the vomit in the aisle for a good 30 minutes, but what do I care? I took my 3 kids and was outta there.) Now had I been at Target, I may have felt a little more awkward.
What I ended up learning about Walmart though, was that for myself, because everything was so cheap, I ended up buying tons more stuff I didn't need, and eventually 88 cents turned into 88 dollars once I got to the check out line. I also factored in opportunity cost and realized that the 20+ minutes I was spending in line with my 3 kids was not worth saving a few extra bucks, but the straw that broke the camel's back though was when I cut into rotten produce and opened bags of flour with bugs in it, all within a few weeks time. That's when I made the switch, and I have never regreted it. (I must say, I do miss the sweet, little, old Walmart greeters though.)
So, although I much prefer Target over Walmart, there will always be a part of me that longs to see that big yellow happy face with his save you money, roll back smile, and every couple months, I do find myself back at Walmart, wandering the aisles, like I'm catching up with an old friend.
Sincerely, Kimmie

Monday, May 14, 2012

Flossing Feud

Q: Dear Kimmie,
My husband and I disagree. I think you should floss your teeth after you brush and he says your supposed to floss before you brush. Please tell me I am right.
Sincerely, Shelly



 A: Okay Shelly, I happen to be on your side of this debate, but I am probably not your best ally in a dental hygeine battle because I only floss like every 3 years. (Although, as you can see from the picture, I do have pretty nice teeth.)
When I was little my mom told me that flossing was a conspiracy created by dentists to loosen your teeth away from your gums so you would have to visit them more often and eventually pay for dentures. Needless to say, I never really made flossing a habit, but when I do floss nowadays, it is always after I brush my teeth.
However, I didn't want to leave you with only the opinion of a girl who just had her first root canal, so I checked out some dental websites...
Some say that by flossing before brushing, you clear space between the teeth to allow flouride to penetrate and toughen all surfaces of the teeth.
The opposing dental opinions said that flossing before brushing clears space between the teeth, which allows plaque from dirty teeth between the teeth and under the gum during the process of brushing.
Both opinions recommend brushing, flossing and then re-brushing, to which I say, "Get a life! Who has that kind of time?"
So, if I had to choose a side, I would say whoever, out of the two of you, has the least cavities wins! Problem Solved!
Oh, and to award you for your impeccable oral hygeine and to thank you for inspiring me to floss more regularly, I found you a printable coupon for dental floss. Please enjoy!
http://www.gumbrand.com/toothbrush-coupons/dental-floss-coupons/

Sincerely, Kimmie

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Mama Drama!

Q: Dear Kimmie,
Every year, my in-laws come to town and stay with us over Mother's Day weekend, which means I have to do all of the cooking, cleaning and hosting.
It's not a relaxing, restful Mother's Day for me when they're here, and I would really like to have my own Mother's Day for once. I've mentioned this to my husband, but he doesn't think it's a big deal and tells me that he's not going to tell his parents that they can't come. What should I do?
-Name Witheld
A: Wow! This sound like a really big problem that's not going away anytime soon. You guys should probably just get a divorce.
Just Kidding!!!!!
You have to make your hubby realize that Mother's Day is a big deal and that you want it to be about you. It's your day to relax, and if entertaining out of town visitors isn't the way you choose to unwind, then your hubby needs to realize and accept that.
Making your Mother's Day special should be his first priority. Be upfront with him by telling him what it would take to make that happen.
His mother is still, no doubt, very important and deserves to be recognized, but she can come celebrate the weekend before, or the weekend after. Certainly that's a nice comprimise.
However, if that doesn't work, and he still insists on having his parents visit over Mother's Day, then just invite your parents too and make all of the grandparents sleep in the same bed, like on Charlie & the Chocolate Factory. Then you won't have to worry about any parents inviting themselves to stay with you for any holidays ever again. Problem Solved!
Sincerely, Kimmie